1. Start with a simple statement:

We quit because nobody knew how to program the computer.

2. Put it in the passive voice, to dilute the responsibility:

It was decided to quit.

3. Expand with terminology that does not add meaning:

It was decided to terminate.

4. Build in noun strings:

It was decided to terminate project processes.

5. Add a qualifier of uncertain relation to the original statement:

On account of the status of the computer, it was decided to terminate project processes.

6. Add noun strings and terminology to the qualifier:

On account of the status of the computer program assessment planning development effort, it was decided to terminate project processes.

7. Separate related words:

On account of the status of the computer program assessment planning development effort, it was decided to terminate until a later date the operative project processes.

8. Equivocate:

On account of the uncertain status of the computer program assessment planning development effort, it was proposed and tentatively adopted to suspend temporarily until a later date the operative project processes.

9. Obfuscate:

Due to uncertainties in the status of the computer program assessment planning development effort, proposals were carefully considered and tentatively adopted to suspend temporarily until a later date the operative project processes.

10. Cover your tracks to make yourself look good:

Due to unavoidable uncertainties in the status of the computer program assessment planning development effort, a number of contingency proposals were carefully considered and one was tentatively adopted to suspend on a temporary basis until a later date those project processes deemed unessential to the expeditious fulfillment of contract requirements.

Gerald Grow is a retired journalism professor. More at longleaf.net.

Written by

Gerald Grow is a retired journalism professor, cartoonist, and photographer. More at longleaf.net.

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